Thursday, April 26, 2012

how to tie a tie.

Since my book pertains to latino gangsters and such, I figured I'd share a little trick I know. In Colombia, gangs and cartels have a little intimidation tactic they use on people to scare the shiznit out of their compadres. It's called a Colombian necktie. What it is is your throat is slit, and your tongue is pulled through the wound. I'll teach you how to tie one soon. it originated during the massive Colombian civil and drug wars around 1948. It is mainly used as psychological warfare. It's an absolutely terrifying experience to come across a victim of such execution.

Since I'm Colombian, I know how to tie this tie. For fun, I'll share you my person variation of the necktie.
heres how its done:
1) make a long incision from bottom of the chin down to bottom of the throat through the jugular.
2) make a cut across the throat near the base parallel to the clavicle.
3) make a similar cut where the bottom of the chin meets the top of the throat under the tonsils.
4) third cut is made directly under the chin maybe half an inch back.
5) open the flaps to expose the interior of mouth and throat.
6) cut the little thingy under the tongue so that it hangs loose. essentially break the connection between mouth and tongue.
7) drive a knife through the base of the mouth into the previous incision you made in step 1.
8) forcefully pull tongue down through incisions and let it hang freely.

Use this pic for some type of reference:

Congratulations, you have just tied your first Colombian Necktie.

Hasta luego. Saludos desde El Parche.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

first impressions on the rulez of attraction...

I'm sorry but i havent read much of the book. As of right now I have about thirty dollars in book fines at the school library, so therefore i refuse to check out another book from this ratchet library. My dad's personal library is superior to this shiz.Anyway, I've been having to jank online copies of the book to read in my spare time from some proxy servers... And this is why i'm so far behind.

So far i'm enjoying this book. It's so bad I'm laughing every ten seconds from the derogatory references to gangs, drugs, sex, mexicans, weed, marijuana, cocain, alcohol, partying, getting drunk, insert stuff thugs do here, and whatever else that appears every two pages. The involvement of gangs and drugs reminds me of the time I spent in the barrios of Colombia. El Parche tan mafioso FTW ;). It's funny how the author portrays mexicans to be such bad people and being thugs and all. I dont know if you realize, but people in south america do less drugs than americans. We just grow the stuff and sell it to americans for their money and take advantage of them. In the time i've lived in Colombia, i've seen only one person do marijuana, as opposed to the 300 that smoke in my school. Another thing i have with the book is that the characters speak spanish... properly. I've been around actual gangsters, and they dont talk the same way. if you ever want to hear what it sounds like, hit me up and i'll hala at you con el real talk bien fresco parcel.

I'd rant some more abut gangs and drugs and colombians bien mafioso, but i need to save it for later cuz i aints got no inspiration. if you want to leanr more about Colombia, hit me up.

Heres some pictures for you to look at about real gang life in south america. These pics pertain directly to the book because this is what the books about.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Rules of attraction.

Guess what my new book is going to be!!! It's Rules of Attraction yaaaaaaaay!!! I have no idea why I',m reading this book. I came to the conclusion that all of the books I hadn't read were absolute crud. I picked this book because I just want to throw all caution to the mainstream wind and read whats "popular"... People say this is a good book and I heavily doubt it. I dont even have an interest in this book beyond the inclusion of drugs. I wonder how this will go. If reading this throws me into a depression and makes me commit suicide again, I'm pressing charges.... :)

Initial preliminary thoughts: Why am I doing this???    :/

Secondary preliminary thoughts: I need to stay away from the tequila mix... I'm actually starting to read books now... :P

Tertiary Preliminary thoughts: So I didn't read the book that came before this one but I honestly dont really give a rat's beezwax about this book. According to the holy bible of wikipedia, Rules of Attraction is about some insanely promiscuous, drunk, pot-head, gangster college students that have like a love triangle or something going on. I not very keen on love, since it doesnt exist, or triangles (geometry is for squares... get it :D); but the drugs, alcohol, and gangs remind me of when I was growing up in the barrios of Colombia. Let me tell you a funny story about love. I have a wristband that says love on it. I was babysitting a seven year old and he comes up to me and asks "why do you have a love wristband?" I respond, "When you get my age, you'll understand." Guess what he says next... "Theres nothing to understand. Love only exists in the movies... you should know that.". Just goes to show what modern society is doing to the children. The world needs to stop getting drunk all the time, put down it's weed pipe, and start spreading the love, because the way it seems, It's running out of one of it's strongest natural resources.

What's your opinion on love and what does it mean to you?

You know what I prefer to Rules of Attraction... The rules of engagement.... and they need to be changed to fire at will.... I have beau-coup hostiles right now that I need to eliminate....