Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Gangster music

I'm bored so I'm going to do a link up....
So I was thinking about how much people in america actually know about what it's like to be a latino gangster. I've come to the conclusion that people dont really know how things really are... We dont go around sagging and wearing big white shirts. We dont wear big flashy chains and carry guns in our obscenely low waistband. We are more mafioso than that.... To give you a better idea of who we are, i'm going to share our anthems with you...
All links go to youtube cuz is just awesome like that...
all songs are in spanish and dont ask me for a translation...

Fuego ft. Deevani: Que Buena Tu Ta
This is El Parche's main anthem.

Wisin y Yandel: Abusadora
be happy this one comes with lyrics...

Wisin y Yandel: Ahora Es

Daddy Yankee: Descontrol

Los Generales: Esa mujer es fuego
This is one of the OG tracks from back in the day when we all used to live in the glorious homeland. Es una chimba tan bacana como limoncillo bien fresco.

DJ Chus & Franky Rizardo: Caracoles (Iberican Remix)
This is just on eof the many house tracks we have. Anything from defected records or subliminal sessions with Erick Morillo is generally on our playlists.


when it comes to music, en la mafia we dont listen to all that other crappy rap stuff all those other fools listen to. We have our own thing. We call it reggeaton, salsa, and house. This is what we listen to day in and day out. We dont believe in those junky mainstream rappers. Lil Wayne is dead to us.

Monday, May 7, 2012

a rant on underage drinking....

So the main character in this book thing is like always going around trying to find alcohol and weed. This kid is like in High School so i figuered I'd write a rant about underage drinking.

Kids these days... It's sad how they're spending their weekends getting drunk. 15 year olds are getting wasted to the point that they end up falling all over the place yelling "OMG I...; .. .CANT PUT ...ON MY ..... SHOES :P...". This generation has associated the idea of having a good time with alcohol consuption. I walk around school and hear people talking about their plans for pre and after prom parties. Every other person is asking if there is going to be alcohol involved... I sit there with my poker face on with the words "you @#$%## idiot" running through my head. I have a feeling that modern media (Cough* Jersey Shore Cough*) has brainwashed juveniles into believing that you have to be wasted out of your mind to the point that you dont remember the previous twelve hours in order to enjoy yourself. It's just sad. There is plenty of time to do that crap later in life. I love how teens are so willing to risk their life to get a little "buzzed". I guarantee you that I'll be having more fun remebering my un-obscured memories of fun times with friends while you pick your slobbery, messed up self out of the ditch you landed in after downing that botle of Bacardi... It's not worth getting drunk because you want to have fun. I assure you that you can enjoy yourself just as much, if not more while sober. For those of you who think you are cool because you go to the club and drink like a waterbuffalo are funking retards. I've worked at one of the best nightclubs in the world, and i assure you that you have to be sober to enter, and the moment you get tipsy, security kicks you out. for those of you who think you're talented because you can down four jager bombs in a minute or so are losers, because I'm sure i can drink more than you anyday. Getting drunk is for losers. You gotta have a bit more class than that...

Now dont think I'm trying to keep you from getting drunk. Alcohol poisoning is a viable form of natural selection... just remember that...

I'm tired of rambling now, so here's a few memes for you to enjoy...




Thursday, April 26, 2012

how to tie a tie.

Since my book pertains to latino gangsters and such, I figured I'd share a little trick I know. In Colombia, gangs and cartels have a little intimidation tactic they use on people to scare the shiznit out of their compadres. It's called a Colombian necktie. What it is is your throat is slit, and your tongue is pulled through the wound. I'll teach you how to tie one soon. it originated during the massive Colombian civil and drug wars around 1948. It is mainly used as psychological warfare. It's an absolutely terrifying experience to come across a victim of such execution.

Since I'm Colombian, I know how to tie this tie. For fun, I'll share you my person variation of the necktie.
heres how its done:
1) make a long incision from bottom of the chin down to bottom of the throat through the jugular.
2) make a cut across the throat near the base parallel to the clavicle.
3) make a similar cut where the bottom of the chin meets the top of the throat under the tonsils.
4) third cut is made directly under the chin maybe half an inch back.
5) open the flaps to expose the interior of mouth and throat.
6) cut the little thingy under the tongue so that it hangs loose. essentially break the connection between mouth and tongue.
7) drive a knife through the base of the mouth into the previous incision you made in step 1.
8) forcefully pull tongue down through incisions and let it hang freely.

Use this pic for some type of reference:


Congratulations, you have just tied your first Colombian Necktie.



Hasta luego. Saludos desde El Parche.


Thursday, April 19, 2012

first impressions on the rulez of attraction...

I'm sorry but i havent read much of the book. As of right now I have about thirty dollars in book fines at the school library, so therefore i refuse to check out another book from this ratchet library. My dad's personal library is superior to this shiz.Anyway, I've been having to jank online copies of the book to read in my spare time from some proxy servers... And this is why i'm so far behind.

So far i'm enjoying this book. It's so bad I'm laughing every ten seconds from the derogatory references to gangs, drugs, sex, mexicans, weed, marijuana, cocain, alcohol, partying, getting drunk, insert stuff thugs do here, and whatever else that appears every two pages. The involvement of gangs and drugs reminds me of the time I spent in the barrios of Colombia. El Parche tan mafioso FTW ;). It's funny how the author portrays mexicans to be such bad people and being thugs and all. I dont know if you realize, but people in south america do less drugs than americans. We just grow the stuff and sell it to americans for their money and take advantage of them. In the time i've lived in Colombia, i've seen only one person do marijuana, as opposed to the 300 that smoke in my school. Another thing i have with the book is that the characters speak spanish... properly. I've been around actual gangsters, and they dont talk the same way. if you ever want to hear what it sounds like, hit me up and i'll hala at you con el real talk bien fresco parcel.

I'd rant some more abut gangs and drugs and colombians bien mafioso, but i need to save it for later cuz i aints got no inspiration. if you want to leanr more about Colombia, hit me up.

Heres some pictures for you to look at about real gang life in south america. These pics pertain directly to the book because this is what the books about.






Sunday, April 1, 2012

Rules of attraction.

Guess what my new book is going to be!!! It's Rules of Attraction yaaaaaaaay!!! I have no idea why I',m reading this book. I came to the conclusion that all of the books I hadn't read were absolute crud. I picked this book because I just want to throw all caution to the mainstream wind and read whats "popular"... People say this is a good book and I heavily doubt it. I dont even have an interest in this book beyond the inclusion of drugs. I wonder how this will go. If reading this throws me into a depression and makes me commit suicide again, I'm pressing charges.... :)




Initial preliminary thoughts: Why am I doing this???    :/

Secondary preliminary thoughts: I need to stay away from the tequila mix... I'm actually starting to read books now... :P

Tertiary Preliminary thoughts: So I didn't read the book that came before this one but I honestly dont really give a rat's beezwax about this book. According to the holy bible of wikipedia, Rules of Attraction is about some insanely promiscuous, drunk, pot-head, gangster college students that have like a love triangle or something going on. I not very keen on love, since it doesnt exist, or triangles (geometry is for squares... get it :D); but the drugs, alcohol, and gangs remind me of when I was growing up in the barrios of Colombia. Let me tell you a funny story about love. I have a wristband that says love on it. I was babysitting a seven year old and he comes up to me and asks "why do you have a love wristband?" I respond, "When you get my age, you'll understand." Guess what he says next... "Theres nothing to understand. Love only exists in the movies... you should know that.". Just goes to show what modern society is doing to the children. The world needs to stop getting drunk all the time, put down it's weed pipe, and start spreading the love, because the way it seems, It's running out of one of it's strongest natural resources.

What's your opinion on love and what does it mean to you?

You know what I prefer to Rules of Attraction... The rules of engagement.... and they need to be changed to fire at will.... I have beau-coup hostiles right now that I need to eliminate....

Thursday, March 1, 2012

PICTURE BLOG AWW YEAAH PICTURE BLOG!!!!

Just to put some images in your head... Just some cool stuff that has to do with the court and law...































Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Emoticons? :/

 So I was sitting around taking medication for my massive writer's block when a simple question popped in my head. What's the people's opinion  of usage of emoticons as like formal types of punctuation/ usage in like stories and wherever and stuff?

Emoticons are facial expressions depicted by punctuation marks ex :)   :D  :(   :o  . I think they're epic. They're generally used on facebook posts or text messages to imply a feeling or emotion by the writer. I have this crazy idea that has the potential to change the literary world. I'm planning on starting to add emoticons to my school assignment papers and treat them as a formal part of grammar. Pretty awesome huh ;). I hope that implementation of these smiley faces may add a new, interesting twist to the infernal black and white papers I generally write. If I'm lucky, the emoticons will give the reader a better idea of what the character is feeling or what my opinion/outlook is imposing on my emotions/facial expressions.

I dont even know if this going to work at all :P... I'm going to try it anyway and stay optimistic lolz. ;D



Whats your opinion on the usage of emoticons in stories or assignments???????

Is there anything unique that you add to your compositions? Please share with me... 8)

Links for the soul

Since I am suffering from an epidemic of writer's block, I'm just going to take the easy way out of things and post a few links. :)


The best Website EVER!!!!     This is the official website for the book. Enjoy.


Review by the Los Angeles Times   Check it out because it's better than my book review.

Another blog about the same book    I never knew people would actually blog about books seriously....

more articles


Animoto by a friend  My homie Cody Zamora delivered on this one!


Links make my head hurt... where's my aleve when I need it....   oh here it is.... I guess I can keep going now........


paper back book club

IDK who's blog

Enotes

DOUBLE RAINBOW

http://mysterybookstores.org/mystery-book-theodore-boone-kid-lawyer.html

http://www.egully.com/blog/2010/05/review-theodore-boone-john-grisham/

 Wikipedia is amazing


The ethical dilema in Theodore Boone's mind.

Theodore Boone is having to make a difficult decision. There is a murder case going on where the suspect, whom is guilty, is about to get away. One of his friend's brother is a crucial witness that has information that could turn the case around. One problem, the witness is an illegal immigrant and doesnt want to come forth in fear of being deported. Theodore must pick: Bring his friend's brother forth as a witness and risk him being deported, but expose the suspect, or not bring the witness and keep him safe from the authorities, but let the suspect get away with murder.


I would personally tell the witness to come forth because after the trial, there will be no way to get justice imposed on the murderer. It will be risky, and it will be hard to convince the witness to place his life in America on the line. I don't want anyone to get away with murder, unless it's me...

In my opinion, I think Theodore handled this situation very professionally. He ensured that the judge would come to know that there was a mistrial, which would prevent the suspect from getting away, and at the same time keep the witness from being arrested. Nicely done on his part.

I am positive that everyone has had to deal with a situation of this caliber, so now I ask you this: What would you do in this situation?

Monday, February 6, 2012

Review of Theodore Boone, Kid Lawyer By John Grisham

In my opinion, books are best when they're written to provide the reader with an enjoyable story that my provoke fluctuation in the emotions of the reader, or bless the reader with an experience they wont forget. Theodore Boone isnt the best in provoking emotional stress, but it provided me with an enjoyably story that had me flying through the book like I do at the local buffet. It feels great regressing to casual books from the annoying high school curriculum books that tend to give me a rash in my brain. The best quality of this book is its easy readability. Grisham implements suspense which kept up the velocity of my reading and prevented deceleration. There was not a single point in time where I felt the desire to stop reading. There was only one point where the book fell short of satisfactory. The ending wasn't as climactic as I expected it to be. Grisham's closing was o.k. by my standards, but I was hoping for a more dramatic finale.

Here's a few links that might interest you about the book:
http://www.theodoreboone.com/
Review by the LA Times

This book is great for people who are looking for a simple read that satisfies. Good plot + good characters + good work on the part of the author = good book. You should read it :)



A question to my audience: What should I read next?